I just randomly passed by this site, where this person talks about a book called "Hope in the Age of Anxiety". Funny how she makes it sound like people can feel one kind of hopelessness, when I feel 8 of them. Ha.
9 Types of Hopelessness and How to Overcome Them.
Today, I got hit by a little boy, walking home from school. I was just walking past him and his mom, minding my own business, when he, out of nowhere, punches me in the stomach. He definitely took away every doubt I had about having children. I'm never gonna have any. They should be locked up or tied down. Stupid, little brat.
This whole day has already been way too tough, I was in school until 4 o'clock. I talked to a woman about switching to best friend's class, but she couldn't tell me if that would be possible, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow morning, and talk to someone else about it. I really don't want anymore false hope in my life, but I can't help myself. If I'm gonna be in a different class than best friend, for two whole years, I won't get through all of this. I'm scared I'm developing a depression. And no, I'm not a drama queen. Depression runs in my family, idiot. Wish I could feel like everything's gonna work out. But it's probably not. The world's already doing so well, screwing with my life, so why stop now?
When you're trying your best not to hope for anything, and you still do, it just hurts the more when it fails.
So, no more hope for me. - As if.
My head is filled with disease
My skin is begging you please
I'm on my hands and knees
I want so much to believe
I need someone to hold on to.
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