Kender I det...

... Når man ikke har mentalt overskud til at blogge, selvom ordene er der? Well, sådan har jeg det for tiden, så istedet vil jeg blogge musik. Marilyn Manson er awesome, og sangen er selvfølgelig ikke ny, men stadig ligeså god, som dengang den udkom. Han bliver altid dømt på sit udseende, og folk tror, han er sindssyg. Men efter at have set en del interviews med ham, og andre ting, er jeg kommet frem til, at jeg godt kan lide ham. Han er rent faktisk intelligent, and that's more than enough to earn my respect!

But I'm not a slave to a god
that doesn't exist
But I'm not a slave to a world
that doesn't give a shit

Currently dwelling to;

I'm a mountain that has been moved
I'm a river that is all dried up
I'm an ocean nothing floats on
I'm a sky that nothing wants to fly in
I'm a sun that doesn't burn hot
I'm a moon that never shows its face
I'm a mouth that doesn't smile
I'm a word that no one ever wants to say.

Oh, I love you, Brand New.

Work? Don't mind if I do!

Jeg var så heldig at få jobbet som tilkaldevikar i hovedstadsområdets H&M butikker og lager! Hell yeah. Egentlig havde jeg mest håbet på et rengørings- eller lagerjob, men når det er i H&M, tror jeg lige jeg kan overskue at arbejde i butik. I morgen er min første tilkaldevagt, jeg skal arbejde i den store H&M på Strøget. Det bliver dog lidt hårdt at starte ud med 8 timer, men jeg burde nok ikke klage, med arbejdsløsheden, og tanken om, at jeg ligeså godt kunne have endt i Netto eller lignende. Samtidig hjælper pengene også en del på det. Hvad jeg ikke ville gøre for penge. - No nasty! Haha.
So, wish me luck. ^^,

Jeg har fødselsdag om 3 dage! Holy frick. Tiden flyver afsted, og jeg føler mig slet ikke gammel nok til at blive 19 år. Så skal man jo pludselig til at opføre sig voksent og tage ansvar. Det lyder enormt kedeligt og tørt i mine ører. Oh well. Jeg tror bare, jeg vil holde mit indre barn i live, så længe jeg kan. Til gengæld bliver det hyggeligt med familie-besøg af Farmor og lille kusine, samt kæreste, forældre og søster. Det skal nok blive en god dag!

Jeg burde forresten gå i seng, så jeg er klar til at stå "tidligt" op og være frisk, i morgen, på min første arbejdsdag. Istedet tror jeg, jeg vil høre noget mere musik, og prøve at finde op og ned i mit klædeskab. Spontan tøjoprydning, I don't recommend it! Det er til gengæld nemmere at overskue, med god musik som selskab. Such as;

I'm gonna write
A letter to my true love
I'm gonna sign my name

Like a patient on a table
I wanna walk again
Gonna move through the pain.

Emily Browning - Asleep (Sucker Punch Soundtrack)

Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore.

Fremtidsplaner;

• Drop ud af Roskilde Tekniske Skole
• Få job (evt. på Glostrup Hospital, rengøring eller kantine)
• Spar sammen til roadtrip med girlfriend + Lucky mindetatovering
• Start til guitarundervisning
• Start på HF-enkeltfag
• Stay happy.

I think I can manage that. Efter en lang snak med min mor, om alting, føler jeg mig enormt afklaret, og det er en fantastisk følelse. Life's finally beginning to make sense again. Moms, best friends and girlfriends are underrated. ♥

Crack the shutters open wide
I want to bathe you in the light of day
And just watch you as the rays
Tangle up around your face and body
I could sit for hours
Finding new ways to be awed each minute
'Cause the daylight seems to want you
Just as much as I want you.

I welcome this pain

I buried this hurt,
concealed in this heart
Go lock all your doors,
these cold steps will warm

This is what I can give
What else do you need from me?
I might be sick, broken, torn to pieces
So, whatever this is, this thing that now I've become,
You hate it so much, you keep on running from it
No matter the distance, no matter how,
no matter how far.

A post filled with nothing.

Der er både sket meget og ingenting, de sidste par dage. I mandags startede jeg på min nye uddannelse, og selvom jeg virkelig gerne ville skrive lidt om mine oplevelser, so far, kan jeg ikke finde ordene. De sidste tre dage har været hårde for mig, både psykisk og fysisk, og jeg føler mig mentalt drænet. Da jeg ikke har nogle ord at tilbyde, vil jeg undskylde mig med musik. Trist og sur musik er det eneste jeg hører, these days. But that doesn't make the music any less beautiful. Tværtimod.

Change my mind, or help me to try
I'm afraid and I'm not satisfied
In this state I shall not remain

Daylight is not the same
When you're stabbing at the stars in your eyes
And bleeding is what you see.

Come set me free

I try to live the light of day
Why would I do what I hate?
But when I try to reach above
I only hurt the ones I love

Free, come set me free
Down on my knees
I still believe
You can save me from me.

No words, just music.

Jeg ville utroligt gerne lægge nogle billeder ud fra min tur til Paris, og fortælle lidt om mit everyday life. Men lige nu har jeg ikke overskuddet, og egentlig kan jeg heller ikke se meningen i det. Så istedet vil jeg dele endnu et fantastisk
Mumford & sons nummer. The soundtrack to my evening. Enjoy.

Darkness is a harsh term, don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see.

Finding faith through music

Mumford & Sons - After The Storm


And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

Current obsession:

M u m f o r d & S o n s ♥



And if your strife strikes at your sleep
Remember, spring swaps snow for leaves
You'll be happy and wholesome again
When the city clears and sun ascends.

Love burns brighter than sunshine

Der var nogle tidspunkter i går, hvor du dansede eller talte med Melisa. Og istedet for at joine in, sad jeg bare og iagttog dig. Det fik mig til at smile, når du grinte og fjollede. Selv da du sang med på de sange, jeg egentlig ikke er så stor fan af. Jeg bliver stadig stolt af, at være din kæreste. Og selvom jeg aldrig selv har været tryg ved ordet, kan jeg godt lide, når du kalder mig "skat". Thanks for being mine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me.

This animal I have become

It's not like I enjoy being this way. I can't make sense of my mind. I don't understand why I can't be happy for the people in my life, if I'm not happy, too. It makes me hate myself even more.

I hate my mood-swings. They're getting the best of me, and I'm trying so hard not to let them control me.

It sounds like such a cliché, but I'm starting to feel like I have a demon inside of me. And that demon decides when I get to be happy, and when I'm forced to break down in tears. I used to be so good at keeping my feelings and tears to myself, but now I can't even find the strength to keep a straight face when I'm around my friends and girlfriend. It doesn't take much for me to break down, anymore. I feel like I'm starting to wear my heart on my sleeve, even though I really don't want to.

I can't stand the thought of my girlfriend thinking she's not enough for me to be happy. 'Cause she is. I am happy, and I do appreciate the good things that I have in my life. The problem is, that doesn't stop my depression from taking over, at times. And I can't explain that.

I wanna go back to being the girl that everyone thinks is happy all the time, being able to keep my sorrow to myself.

So am I another slave now

to the screaming in my head?
Or is it a little strange now

how the moment's gone and fled?
Brother, I've gotta tell you
that something here is wrong
Oh brother, I've gotta tell you
this place ain't what I thought.

Tomorrow's gonna be...

.. Interesting! Jeg skal til info-dag på Roskildes Tekniske Skole, og se nærmere på uddannelsen som dyrepasser(assistent). Deres næste hold starter i slutningen af Marts, og jeg regner stærkt med at joine! Indtil da søger jeg vikariat-jobs - like a boss/maniac - men har indtil videre kun fået afslag. Whatevz, man, jeg overlever da bare på ingenting, indtil da, så. Jeg har dog stadig en smule optimisme i mig, og håber på at finde noget arbejde, så jeg kan tjene en smule pocket money for mig og girlfriend's tur til Paris. Det kunne være ret fedt, rent faktisk at kunne købe noget derovre. Fingers crossed!

Bagefter info-dagen skal jeg til Haslev, til 18-års fødselsdag. Girlfriend's bedste veninde Monika skal fejres, og jeg synes stadig, det er ret sødt at jeg er blevet inviteret. ^^ Efter fødselsdagen håber jeg meget på, at tage på CC, hvis altså min sugarmama tager afsted og betaler for mig. Ellers må jeg undvære, once again, som det fornuftige, fattige pigebarn jeg er.

Jeg blogger sjældent, for tiden. Det er skam ikke fordi, jeg ikke har tiden, tværtimod. Jeg bruger bare min tid på Tumblr, istedet, og neglecter derfor min blog en smule, ubevidst. But I'm sure no one's dying to hear about my life, anyway. (;

Til gengæld kan jeg snart ikke vente meget længere på VETO's nye album. Det gør mig trist, at best friend ikke har råd til, at tage med mig til deres koncert i Vega. Gawd, I wish she would come. Hvis jeg var rig, havde jeg købt hende en billet! Suk. Hvorfor har jeg ingen rige venner, som har lyst til at sponsorere en ginger i nød?

You can't afford it

You can't afford to get anything done

- Nope, I sure can't!

Obsess, much?

Nok er jeg bagud, men det gik lige op for mig, at jeg manglede det nyeste album med OneRepublic.
Jeg ved dog ikke om det er en god idé, at jeg fandt det, for jeg har ikke hørt andet, 90% af i går og i dag.
They're quite addicting!

Og nu vil jeg smutte i bad, så jeg kan komme afsted til Haslev og få min lykkepille.

When you're happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in

This could really be a good life.

Get to you

Chasing my demons away with music.



'Cause I'm on my way, I chased the day
And I'll keep running all night
I just won't rest to catch my breath
I will run every red light to get to you
I will get to you.

Would you mind if I bared my soul?

Gud, hvor er jeg glad for, at Janne introducerede mig for Spirit (Stallion of the Cimarron). Soundtracksene er simply amazing! Hvilket selvfølgelig ikke er chokerende, eftersom de er af Bryan Adams.

Had a great weekend, btw. Nogen gange er det okay, at være "kærestekedelig", when it helps you stay happy. I so enjoy your company, honey. You made my weekend. ^^,

One X

The life I think about

Is so much better than this

I never thought I'd be stuck in this mess

I'm sick of wondering

Is it life or death?

Hold My Heart

I never meant to be the one to let you down

If anything, I thought I saw myself going first

I didn't know how to stick around

How to see anybody but me be getting hurt

I want to tell you so, before the sun goes dark

How to hold my heart

'Cause I don't want to let go of you.

Tonight's soundtrack

There is no reconciliation that will put me in my place
And there is no time like the present to drink these draining seconds
But seldom do these words ring true, when I'm constantly failing you
Like walls that we just can't break through, until we disappear.