You know, the only thing I can do, is move on and allow myself to heal. I can't keep holding onto something or someone who doesn't see me like they used to, especially when you no longer want me in your life. I hope that makes sense to you, too.
Yes, I was weak, and I hurt you. I spent a lot of time hating myself for it, but I can't keep doing that. You told me yourself that you wished the best for me, and that you hoped that I'd keep working on myself. Well, that's what I'm doing now. I can't change anything, I made a mistake, and I'm sorry my weakness and lack of love for myself ended up hurting you. I never meant for that to happen. I never wanted you to end up hating me, if that's what you do. That doesn't make me feel any less horrible. But I'm gonna learn something from this, that way at least some good'll come out of all the awful.
You used to be the one who gave me the love that I didn't have for myself, and made me feel meaningful. Now that you're no longer here to fill that hole inside of me, I have to learn how to love myself. You gave me some of the strength to start working on myself, and I'll always be grateful for that. I never want to feel like our relationship was a waste of time, because it wasn't, not to me. You made me happier than I've ever been, I loved calling you mine, because you always were something unique and special, to me. That'll never change. I could never hate you, not after everything you gave me.
I think my therapist helped me realize a few things, today. Not anything that I didn't already know, deep down, but she helped me remember it. Helped me get some clarity. I think this'll be worth the money and energy.
No comments:
Post a Comment