This animal I have become

It's not like I enjoy being this way. I can't make sense of my mind. I don't understand why I can't be happy for the people in my life, if I'm not happy, too. It makes me hate myself even more.

I hate my mood-swings. They're getting the best of me, and I'm trying so hard not to let them control me.

It sounds like such a cliché, but I'm starting to feel like I have a demon inside of me. And that demon decides when I get to be happy, and when I'm forced to break down in tears. I used to be so good at keeping my feelings and tears to myself, but now I can't even find the strength to keep a straight face when I'm around my friends and girlfriend. It doesn't take much for me to break down, anymore. I feel like I'm starting to wear my heart on my sleeve, even though I really don't want to.

I can't stand the thought of my girlfriend thinking she's not enough for me to be happy. 'Cause she is. I am happy, and I do appreciate the good things that I have in my life. The problem is, that doesn't stop my depression from taking over, at times. And I can't explain that.

I wanna go back to being the girl that everyone thinks is happy all the time, being able to keep my sorrow to myself.

So am I another slave now

to the screaming in my head?
Or is it a little strange now

how the moment's gone and fled?
Brother, I've gotta tell you
that something here is wrong
Oh brother, I've gotta tell you
this place ain't what I thought.