What divides, yet defines me

I know I told you that a part of me can't accept your love for me, because I truly don't believe that anyone can love me. Part of me refuses to accept your love. Still, that doesn't mean I don't believe in us. I do. But that's the hardest part. Believing in something so much, but in some way wishing I didn't, because it makes it impossible for me to slip away and escape this world. It splits me in two pieces, believing in us. But the one part, the part that wants to try and fight this, to stay here, to be with you.. That's the part I wouldn't trade for anything.