You're only what you give back

My mind is at peace, and at the same time, I feel like I might explode. I'm letting you go and moving onto better and healthier things, like you said I should. I'm not doing it for you, like I thought I would. I'm not doing it to make us work again, that ship has sailed. I still cry at the thought of you, and the memories still stain my mind and heart. If I could, I think I'd erase a lot of the thoughts I have about you. They still have an effect on me, even though all I want to do is run from it all. That doesn't mean I want to forget you, I never will. You had a great impact on my life, both good and bad. I believe I'll learn from it, in some way. I'm starting therapy next week, and that's partly because of you, but mostly because I finally got my act together, and found the energy to do something about it. I deserve a highfive, ha.

Then there's this sweet girl, who suddenly decided to walk into my life, when I least expected it. she brings me happiness, in the purest way, and she makes me smile, even though I still don't feel like I truly deserve it. I believe we have a positive effect on each other, and that's all that matters. People can say whatever they want, I don't care. I want to tell her how sweet and caring she is, how much she deserves love and happiness in her life. I'll do my best to make her believe that, while I work on getting myself to realize, that I deserve the same things, just as much as anyone else.

My mind is exploding with thoughts and words, and I can't wait to spill a part of my heart, next tuesday, when I'm starting therapy. I'm nervous, yet hopeful. Things have finally taken a turn for the better. I think.

Circa Survive er esktremt undervurderede. ♥