Somewhat damaged

Jeg forstår ikke hvorfor, du altid skal dukke op, overalt. Jeg prøver så desperat at give slip på dig, selvom mit hjerte ikke vil det, men der er hele tiden ting omkring mig, der minder mig om dig. Og de dukker altid op, når jeg ikke er forberedt. Jeg er afhængig af den følelse, du gav mig. Og den intimitet vi havde. Jeg føler mig halv uden den i mit liv. Hvordan skal jeg overbevise mig selv om, at det eneste jeg kan, er at give slip? Hvordan skal jeg finde troen frem igen? How can I ever believe that everything happens for a reason, when the only thing I never wanted, was to lose you? I'd like nothing more than to let go of you, 'cause I know you're getting over me, day by day. And I'm stuck here, trying to put the pieces of myself back together, trying to let myself be happy again, even though I sabotaged one of the most important things in my life. I've gotta stop doing that. And I've gotta stop letting everything get to me.

All I feel like doing right now, is getting shitfaced and whine about life, with Joy.

In a dream, I'm a different me
With a perfect you, we fit perfectly
And for once in my life I feel complete
And I still want to ruin it
Afraid to look, as clear as day
This plan has long been underway.

Do you know how far this has gone?
Just how damaged have I become?
When I think I can overcome
It runs even deeper
Everything that matters is gone
All the hands of hope have withdrawn.

Monday, monday, monday

Det er aldrig sjovt, at tage i skole mandag morgen kl. 8:20 og vide, at man først har fri kl. 15:55. HF tager livet af mig! Og hvem vælger at lægge 2 matematik- og 2 geografitimer på en mandag? Unbelievable. Mén! På trods af stress og enormt mangel på overskud, kom mig og best friend endnu engang i skole, uden fravær. I'm so proud of us. ^^,

Jeg har lige bestilt denne lækre sag, da jeg fik stjålet min elskede jakke, til CPH Pride, og derfor fortjente en ny. Tak fordi du reklamerede for den, Camilla! (; (Den er selvfølgelig faux læder!)

Can't wait to wear it! Jeg venter stadig spændt på at modtage
mine militærstøvler, og krydser fingre for, at de ankommer i morgen.

Also, har jeg endnu engang fået F+TM flip. Proud to call myself ginger, 'cause of her. ♥

*sigh*

Jeg burde nok bare tage mig sammen, og indse, det jeg ikke vil indse. Men jeg er havnet inde i min egen bobbel, og jeg har fundet tryghed i sorgen. I afhængigheden. Jeg kan ikke give slip på min sørgmodighed, den er det eneste jeg har tilbage, det eneste bevis på, at alting var virkeligt. Den dag jeg ikke længere kan forblive i min bobbel, leve og æde af sorgen, ved jeg ikke hvad jeg gør. Den dag alting pludselig er så distanceret, at jeg ikke længere har noget tilbage, at holde fast i. Den dag skræmmer mig.

Ord er det eneste der trøster mig, pt. At skrive mit hjerte ud. And I'll keep doing it, until the day everything has faded away. Lucky for you, you don't have to read it.

Til gengæld var jeg på CC i går, med de sødeste pigebørn. Det hjalp heldigvis, for en stund, at slippe det hele, og bare drikke og have det sjovt. Desværre gik følelsen væk igen. Men jeg fik da udnyttet CC's fri bar! I always do. Meheh. Og Camilla er en sød og forstående pige. Vi fik talt en masse, og det værdsætter jeg. Tak, alle tre, for en god og fjollet aften. <3

"I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone, and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do."

Party the pain away!

Oh well. I'm off to get drunk with some of my favourite girls! Part of Camp Unicorn is having a reunion, tonight. Yay. ♥ We're going to CC, as always. Have a great saturday, peepz!

Klarsyn

Det er sjovt, at jeg aldrig har kunne se, hvor dum jeg egentlig har været. Hvor meget du egentlig har kunnet styre mine følelser. Du mener, at du kun har brug for mig, for at fylde et hul, som jeg ikke skabte. Og så var det >mig< der skulle lære at stole på din kærlighed? It was never real! Face it.

Det at du føler, du ville ignorere dine egne følelser, hvis du tog mig tilbage, er morsomt. Du har aldrig ignoreret dine egne følelser, du har altid holdt fast i mig, netop for at du selv ville få det "bedre". Det at du føler, du har fundet dig i meget, bare for at beholde mig, kan jeg ikke ændre. Jeg har ikke altid været den pige, jeg kunne være, det ved jeg, men nu kan jeg pludselig indse hullerne i din forklaring. Din "undskyldning".

Den eneste grund til, at du giver slip på mig nu, er fordi at du nu kan arbejde på at fylde hullet, på en sundere måde. Og så har du ikke længere brug for mig. I'm so last week. Thanks. (:

Are you well in the suffering?

The worst part is probably that you still have a hold of me.
I'd still run to you, if you ever asked me to.

Love drunk

I haven't been to my room, since you wrote the message. I've slept in my parents' and best friend's bed. I can't be alone. When I'm alone, I break down. And I don't feel like shedding one more tear. That's also the reason why I've been to school every day. I need people around me. Of course that's a good thing, if it makes me go to school. But I don't really listen, when the teachers speak. And whenever they stop, you dig yourself back into my thoughts.

The fact that you just don't see this the way I do, is what hurts me the most. The fact that you feel you need me, just to fill up the hole inside of you. It makes me want to break down and cry. Give up on everything. I actually thought I meant something real to you, but now you've made it completely clear that you were only with me, so that you'd feel loved and "safe". Not because I actually meant something real to you. I never wanted you to use me like that. I wanted our love to be pure and healthy for the both of us. It kills me that you never felt that way. That you only held on to me, for that long, so that I could fill that empty place in your heart. I'll never get over you. I'll never find anyone that can replace you. I'm gonna try as hard as I can, but all that lies ahead of me, is the search for something like we had. That connection. And I'll never, ever find it. You've killed every hope I've ever had of finding a love that's gonna last.

Part of me wishes that you'd never come into my life. You made me believe in love, that someone could actually understand me enough, that it was okay to let my guards down. And look where that got me. With a broken heart, afraid to ever be alone. You've made me a love addict.

I'm not gonna be sorry for this kind of hate I have inside of me. I know I'm the reason for our breakup, >my< mistake. But what I've realized, is that you've been looking for a way out, long before that. You've felt like I was a burden, some tumour on the side of your heart, just waiting to kill you.

I hate you for giving up. I hate you for not loving me deeply enough, to see that I could be healthy for you, to see that we actually could've turned things around. I don't know what to do with myself, there're too many feelings inside of me, and I want to scream at you. I dreamt that you were at the same party as me, and all I did was break down and cry.. You walked around talking and flirting with all the other girls.. Then you came over to me, and asked if I wanted to talk about it. And I tried to hit you, but you hugged me. When I woke up, I felt so empty inside.

This last week I've been having these extremely intense pains in my stomach. I'm hoping it's cancer, so you'll hate yourself for leaving me. Hæ.

My love for you was never selfish. I didn't use you to fill up a hole inside of me, I loved you because you understood me, made me feel alive, and because it just felt right. The world was a better place, when you were close to me.

You're lucky to have those people in your life, to tell you that I'm not healthy for you. I can't help but hate them. You say that you don't think clearly, when I'm close to you, that you feel like throwing it all away and falling back into your old patterns. If I'd ever known that I had that effect on you, we'd never have lasted this long. How could I ever've thought you actually loved me, for the right reasons? How foolish of me.

Tomorrow is gonna be a tough day. I'm gonna have to force myself to have fun, and try to put my thoughts of you on the shelf. If I could, I would write all of this down on paper, and burn it. Sadly, that wouldn't make it go away.

You never loved >me<. You just needed to feel loved and appreciated. Liar.

Friday, I'm in love

... with candy!

Jeg havde håbet en del på, at der ville være en fest i aften, men sådan skulle det åbenbart ikke være. I går var jeg til gengæld med havdelen af min klasse på Floss og drikke os dejligt stive. Vi var desværre så fornuftige at tage hjem ved en 12:30-tiden, men det var nok også et klogt valg, for ellers var vi aldrig kommet op i skole, i dag. Vi havde kun to timer, så det var lige til at overleve! Ak ja, HF's aflysninger sparker røv. Jeg sov hos best friend, og tog i skole i det samme tøj som jeg havde på i går. Den stinkende ungdom, ftw. Nu har mig og Trine været i skole i to uger, uden at pjække! To af dagene har endda været med tømmermænd. Jeg er stolt af os. Det har vi ikke prøvet siden.. 7. klasse, sådan ca. :'D

I dag skulle jeg i realiteten have været hjemme hos dig. Istedet bruger jeg min fredag aften på, at komme mig over tømmermændene fra i går, og lade op til i morgen, hvor jeg skal på CC med de dejligste tøser fra Roskildes Camp Unicorn. ♥ Jeg kunne egentlig godt bruge noget hyggedruk, her til aften, med en sød person, men folk har ikke rigtig tid til mig. That was meant in the least pathetic way, possible. Haha. Jeg har lyst til at opføre mig som en dum teenager, der er pisse ligeglad med alt og alle. Men den person er jeg ikke længere, "sadly". Maturity sucks balls.

Det der er værst ved denne situation er, at jeg ikke kan se, hvordan jeg nogensinde skulle kunne finde en anden vegetarisk, mac-elskende, engelsktalende lebbe. Ha. One of a kind, I guess. Næh, jeg skal skam nok finde en erstatning. Hopefully there's someone out there who actually wants my love. Just teach me not to love you, plz. (:

Ligegyldige ord.

Jeg er til gengæld rigtig glad for, at jeg stadig føler for, at arbejde på mig selv. Nu bliver det bare kun for min egen skyld. Jeg tror den her had kommer til at hjælpe mig igennem det. Det er det eneste der kan hjælpe mig. Udover de bedste venner og den bedste familie, of course.

Heldigvis læser du intet af det her. For du føler sikkert ikke, at jeg kan tillade mig at være sur på dig, når det var mig der ødelagde det. Men at du valgte at blive her, og fylde mig med så meget håb, kan jeg kun se som misbrug. Jeg føler mig brugt. Ja, jeg ved godt at du ikke lovede noget, men du sagde, at du ville give mig en chance for at vise, at jeg ville arbejde på at blive sundere for dig og mig selv. Det håb byggede du op, og nu har du revet alting ned igen. Det er okay, at du sætter dig selv i første række, for at få det bedre. Men alt det her, har bare fået mig til at føle, at jeg aldrig var god nok til dig. Og det må jeg bare indse, at jeg nok heller aldrig ville blive, i dine øjne. Ja, det mener jeg. Men nu vil jeg være god nok til mig selv. Du vil ikke have min kærlighed, og mener, at jeg har taget alt for meget af din energi og dine ressourcer. That's fine. If that's what makes it easier for you, then so be it. I'm just counting the days 'till I'm ready to let go. Det bliver nok ikke foreløbig, med alle de friske minder og håb.

Skriv til mig, hvis du en dag vil have din kniv tilbage. Kthxbai.

Love is dead... For good.

Funny how I was the one to "break" us, and now I'll be the one who'll be hurting the most. Thanks for all the false hope, and fresh memories. I'll start washing my clothes and sheets now, to get rid of your smell. So much toxic in my body, right now, in the shape of hopes and dreams about us. I wish I could puke them all out.

It's nice how all of this was actually just so you could get some closure, and see me one last time. I feel s o used.

"Jeg skal jo lige lade dig dræbe mig helt, før jeg kan give slip" *sagt med et smil på læben*
Well, look who killed who. (:

Sh00z!

I never received my military boots from GothicPlus.com, so I decided to give up and find a new pair. These were the ones I ended up with, I found them on eBay, and they were also cheaper! Now I just hope they'll send them soon, 'cause I've been waiting for a pair of military boots for about 3 months now, and my expectations are huge. They better be as pretty irl, as they are on the picture!

See you soon, boots. ♥

Rewind and press play.

Gosh. I haven't listened to Robots in Disguise for quite some time. I'd totally forgotten how addicting this song is.
Some people probably can't see the awesomeness about their music, but I can. ^^
Enjoy!

Get over yourself.

I actually thought that I'd be over you, by now. It's been almost two weeks. There's still some part of me that wants to run into you at Pride, although I know that would make me cry. Tsk. Hope you have a great Pride, without me in your life, since that's what you want. I don't think I'll be able to keep you off my mind for long, but I'll do my very best. You still have way too much of an effect on my mood. *sob* Stupid day, I don't feel like celebrating anything. F U.

"Happy" CPH Pride, folkens!

Ha.

So many things to be said, but my awesome, drunk mind doesn't want me to.

First of all, I'm obsessed with Fallulah, at the moment. She's so talented. So, I'll start with a song that really makes sense to me, right now. It's already helped me a bit. Even though it hasn't got anything to do with the rest of this blog post, it's the way I feel, whenever I still think about you.

I've had quite a great day, and my new class is awesome. I'm so happy it worked out, and I get to be in the same class as best friend, and a lot of other cool people. This will definitely help me forget about her, and put my sorrow behind me. Yay. Although I'm still drunk from the day - had quite a lot of beer - I feel optimistic. I still have all the downsides, they're not gonna go away anytime soon.

I hope I don't see you two at Pride, I really don't need that. Unhealthy thoughts would just take over my mind, and I won't let you two get in the way of my happiness. I'm not strong enough to let you disappear out of my life, yet. I did what I could to get you back, and now I'll start to get better. As for you, you've never really been there for me, and a few people agree with me, that you don't deserve our forgiveness. You don't even feel like you need to be forgiven. Great friend. You're so easy to read, honey. Every word and every sentence from your mouth is selfish. I know you can't see it, but we sure can. How about Trine? her angst, and disease? You probably don't know this, 'cause you never took the time to care, but depression also runs in my family. Wow, yeah, poor you, you're sick. We've been "sick" for quite some time now, with no helpful words from you. I can only speak for myself, but I'm definitely through listening to your problems. I have enough on my plate right now, and I'd prefer to spend my time on the friends that actually give me something back.

One other thing, though. I have no idea what to wear to Pride, or to the party at my school tomorrow. But me and Trine are gonna bathe in body glitter, for Pride. So, be sure to look for the two most glowing people! Ha.

I decided to hang out with Andreas today, spontaneously. It was actually a great "start". I think we understand each other more than we even know. Søde dreng.

Thanks, "friend".

Wow, major wake up call, once again. This is just what I needed to take my mind off of her. An evil friend to bitch about! Yay. I'm actually quite surprised about how cold hearted you really are. Good thing I didn't really need your friendship anyway, when you don't seem to know what it means to be there for a friend. Changes can sometimes be good, I just learned.

Tomorrow, me and best friend are going to school early, once again, to hear if there's an open spot in her class, for me. I'm keeping my toes and fingers crossed, I really need some hope.

Lili and I are going to Copenhagen Pride together, this saturday, and I can't wait. Best friend is going with us too, don't know if she's gonna join us later, or if she wants to walk with us in the parade. We'll find out. I can't wait, now that I've decided not to let the thought of her ruin my Pride. It's not worth it. I deserve some celebration, for once. Yeah, that might sound selfish, but sometimes you need to be, and if that's what keeps me going, then that's what I'm gonna be.

Also, my school is having an "intro" party, this friday. I think it's gonna be great. There are actually quite a lot of cool people at my school, and I can't wait to get wasted and hopefully talk to some of them.

Bring me some happiness, world.
Thanks in advance.

Music Box

Det er ikke for, at I skal have medlidenhed med mig, at jeg har skrevet så meget depressivt, for tiden. Det er simpelthen for at komme ud med det, min egen form for terapi. Undskyld, at I skal læse alt det her, men det er den eneste måde, jeg kan rense mit system fra hende, og håbe på en lysere fremtid. For jeg har ikke tænkt mig at holde fast i nogen, som ikke vil have mig. Jeg skal bare erkende alting. Og det tager desværre tid.

Drømmene om dig er den værste gift, jeg kunne tænke mig. De giver mig falsk håb, og jeg har aldrig bedt om dem. De er der bare. Det er vidst ikke gået op for mit sind, at du ikke er min mere. Når det en dag opfatter det, bliver det nemmere, at indse, at du ikke vil mig mere.

I dag skrev jeg et spontant digt i dansk, da min dansklærer talte løs, og faktisk inspirerede mig en del. Da jeg har haft Thrice - Music Box på hovedet, det meste af dagen, virkede det som det perfekte navn. Det er slet ikke noget specielt, men jeg vil alligevel sætte det ind. Mest for min egen skyld, og som en reminder.

Like a music box,
I want to close you
and hide you away,
somewhere far away in my mind
where I can't find you again.

I want your tragic symphonies
to have an end.

Many kinds of hopelessness.

I just randomly passed by this site, where this person talks about a book called "Hope in the Age of Anxiety". Funny how she makes it sound like people can feel one kind of hopelessness, when I feel 8 of them. Ha.

9 Types of Hopelessness and How to Overcome Them.

Today, I got hit by a little boy, walking home from school. I was just walking past him and his mom, minding my own business, when he, out of nowhere, punches me in the stomach. He definitely took away every doubt I had about having children. I'm never gonna have any. They should be locked up or tied down. Stupid, little brat.

This whole day has already been way too tough, I was in school until 4 o'clock. I talked to a woman about switching to best friend's class, but she couldn't tell me if that would be possible, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow morning, and talk to someone else about it. I really don't want anymore false hope in my life, but I can't help myself. If I'm gonna be in a different class than best friend, for two whole years, I won't get through all of this. I'm scared I'm developing a depression. And no, I'm not a drama queen. Depression runs in my family, idiot. Wish I could feel like everything's gonna work out. But it's probably not. The world's already doing so well, screwing with my life, so why stop now?

When you're trying your best not to hope for anything, and you still do, it just hurts the more when it fails.
So, no more hope for me. - As if.

My head is filled with disease
My skin is begging you please
I'm on my hands and knees
I want so much to believe

I need someone to hold on to.

You remain.

Numb all through
I can still feel you
Hear your call
Underneath it all
Kill my brain
Yet you still remain
Crucified
After all I've died
After all I've tried
You are still inside.

The storm is coming in.

I morgen skal mig og best friend møde tidligere, så vi kan tale med en studievejleder om, om jeg kan komme ind i hendes klasse. Jeg kan ikke overleve to HF-år uden best friend ved min side. Det var det eneste der holdt mig oppe, at vide, at vi var sammen om det. I'll cry, if that's what it takes. They can't keep us apart.

Alle sagde altid, hvor meget kærlighed man kunne se i vores øjne, selv når vi sad meter fra hinanden, iblandt andre mennesker. Please don't let all of this go to waste. I can't stand being without you. I know we can be better than we've ever been. I'll fight for you, until the very end. It's all I know how to do.

Do you miss the blend of colours she left in your black and white field?
Do you feel condemned, just being there?

Enough is enough, world.

"Men hvor langt kommer man, hvis man ikke vil åbne sig op for andre mennesker? Man kommer ikke længere end duften af den anden pige på ens sengetøj, og mindet." - Jozefine.

Ja, det ramte mig lige lidt for tæt på hjertet. Kinda died a little.
Jeg ved stadig ikke hvordan jeg skal overleve i morgen. Selvfølgelig har jeg best friend, og så mange mennesker omkring mig, at jeg umuligt kan vælte mine mure og vise sårbarhed. So that's always something.

Crushed hopes and one more dead bunny (R.I.P. Perle). That just leads to endless waves of tears, and I don't think I can take much more of anything. I know I'm not in the right place, mentally, for you, but I wish I were. I'm gonna miss you like hell, and part of me got lost, when I lost you. I was actually starting to think you'd be the one. How foolish of me to think I'd ever get to have you for that long. Everyone keep saying I'll get better, and that it takes time to get over a break up. The worst thing is that I keep hoping you'll change your mind, even after everything you wrote.
My heart won't let go. I keep hoping you'll realize that you can't live without me, even though I know that'll never happen. You're probably gonna be better off without me in your life. And that hurts. I know I should want the best for you, but I don't, if that means I don't get to have you. I wish I could be the person you needed. Even though I can't see the point of trying, at the time, I'm gonna work on myself, from now on. Should've done it a long time ago, but I was too scared to be vulnerable.

Welcome to the end of your life.

The end.

Jeg kunne skrive så mange ting, for at give dig dårlig samvittighed, men det har jeg slet ikke lyst til. Jeg vil ikke såre dig mere end jeg allerede har gjort.

Selvom det ville være meget nemmere, hvis alt du skrev ikke gav mening, er jeg glad for, at jeg kan se det logiske i dit valg. Vi var åbenbart ikke sunde for hinanden, og det beviser bare hvad jeg mener; sometimes love just isn't enough.

Du vil altid være i mit hjerte, Trine, og jeg værdsætter alle minder og stunder med dig. Tusind tak for alt. Jeg håber du får et godt og lykkeligt liv, selvom jeg mere end noget andet, ville ønske at jeg kunne været en del af det.

Jeg håber, at vores veje krydses igen, når jeg en dag har lært mig selv at kende, og kan tage imod en anden persons kærlighed.

Farvel.

What to do when life hits you?

Shop the pain away.

Hvis jeg kunne shoppe kronisk, er jeg sikker på, at jeg kunne komme helskindet igennem all the unknowing.
Heldigvis kan jeg leve højt på de her tre babies, for a while;

Efter at have gået strøget igennem, i et par timer, tog mig og bigsis på Fisketorvet og spiste aftensmad (I actually ate something!), og derefter skulle vi i biografen. Det var en hård dag, både fysisk og psykisk, men jeg er glad for, at jeg fik andre ting at tænke på, 50% af dagen. Thanks, sis.

So sorry.

I love you more
I don't know what I knew before
But now I know, I wanna win the war.

Keep your chin up, child.

Mie og Morten skal giftes på lørdag. Selvom jeg ikke glæder mig til at se på lykkelig og spotless kærlighed, er jeg nogenlunde tilfreds med mit outfit. Det er ikke bryllups-farver, tværtimod, with all the black. But coulours don't fit me, så jeg må bare have en bobblende personlighed, istedet. Ha. Jeg har lovet Mie at jeg vil tage en masse billeder, så jeg er lidt spændt på, om jeg kan leve op til deres forventninger, med mit søde lille Canon EOS 450D. We'll see.

I dag så jeg forresten min tatovør, i RC. Hun gik med sin lille dreng i barnevogn. Kinda made me smile.

Hope for the hopeless.

It's up to her, what happens. She holds the cards. And although it makes my stomach turn and my heart ache, that's the way it has to be. I owe her that. I owe her everything, really. I don't deserve her forgiveness, but it's all I want. I don't know if I'm naive to think she'll take me back, put I have to keep the hope going. I'm not strong enough to let her go. At least I know I've done what I can. I've told her how I feel, and that's all I can do for now, except wait.

Until then, I'll just keep smoking cigarettes, cancer or not, and listen to a hell of a lot of A Fine Frenzy.
Yeah. That's what I'll do. I can't face any of my friends, yet, so the company of my music will have to do.

You deserve happiness, whether or not I'm gonna be a part of it.
I'm crossing all my fingers and toes. The calm before the storm is never easy.

Jenny "How are you?"
Bette "How were you, when your life fell apart?"
Jenny "A mess."
Bette "That's it. That's me. .. I keep replaying it over and over again in my head, trying to figure out the exact moment I could've stopped myself."
Jenny "No, you can't do that. Because we all make mistakes."
Bette "Not me. Not like this."

The day's still ashes and wine.. Or are we ashes?

Infinity.

Jeg prøver at holde mig kørende, men det er svært.
Hver gang jeg sidder alene på mit værelse, kan jeg mærke tårerne presse på.

Alt hvad jeg sagde til dig var slet ikke thought through. Og du misforstod mig. I didn't wanna end things, I just needed you to know what I did, and that I was sorry. But your tone and resentment towards me paralyzed me. I wish I could change what happened, and erase what I did. It was the most painful thing I've ever done, and I hate myself for hurting you like that, and for ruining how you feel about me. The thought of you hating me, even wishing you'd never met me, makes me die a little. You were such a big part of my life, and I wish I could get it back.

But at least now you're in control. Must feel nice. Jeg tør ikke kontakte dig. Jeg er bange for, at gøre det værre, selvom jeg ikke tror, det kan blive værre. It probably wouldn't make you think differently of me, anyway.

Wouldn't it feel "right", if it was meant to end like this, at this time? It doesn't feel right to me.
"You don't know what you've got, 'til you're missing it a lot."

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh, and I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles, Chasin' tails
Comin' back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Accept it, don't let it
Turn the screw
Accept it, and let it
Scream back at you.

Note to self;

"Når man sidder i det på den måde, kan man ikke se andet end sig selv, begå den fejltagelse, man nu gjorde - efterfulgt af erindringer af det, man nu har mistet. Der er intet at sige til, at man fortryder inderligt. Og det kommer til at tage tid at komme videre derfra, det vil det altid gøre. Det er den værste bobbel, man kan sidde i. Når man sidder inde i den, kan man godt finde på at glemme alting omkring en, og derfor kan det være farligt at være inde i den for lang tid. Ude omkring prøver folk at komme ind, men man er så opslugt af sit eget selvhad, at man lader ingen komme i nærheden, ligemeget hvor meget de prøver. Derfor er det vigtigt, søde, at du ikke er alene. For alene vil du blive ved med at tænke på det om og om igen - og aldrig komme videre. Når man omgiver sig med selskab man nyder, så kan man lidt efter lidt se, at man stadig har kærlighed i sit liv, og man ikke er alene - og at man IKKE fortjener at være alene. For dét fortjener du i hvert fald ikke."
© Maria / sødebløde.
I love you.

Selvom ordene hjælper, føler jeg stadig ikke, at jeg fortjener at komme videre.
God knows how long I'll stay in this bubble. Only time will tell.
I still don't feel like letting you go, even though that's what you need.
If there was a way to fix "us", I'd do it. Can't tell you how sorry I am for all of this.

"The heart is stronger than the mind. Everyone is capable of committing a vicious crime.
And everyone deserves the compassion to start again."

If only that were true.

Even if it kills me.

Jeg har kvalme over mig selv. But I'll let the music speak for me.

Would I see you tonight, at a place we go?
Could going through the motions, lead to real emotion?
I wanna make things right
before time runs out.

It was like you said,
the taste doesn't taste like it should
Roll down the windows,
let the cold air come in
Slap my face, just to feel you somehow, again.

Hvis jeg kunne, ville jeg også ignorere hele situationen. But you mean(t) too much to me.

Cristina's 21st birthday!

I dag havde bigsis fødselsdag, den store pige. Tiden flyver jo afsted!
I den anledning, havde vi familien Jensen på besøg, til en ordentlig omgang hygge i haven.
Og det skulle jeg selvfølgelig dokumentere! Her er et par af de mange billeder jeg fik taget.

Mig og best friend var forresten i skoven i går. Vi fik taget en masse (kedelige) naturbilleder, men også et par som rent faktisk er værd at se på. Dem uploader jeg på søndg, for i morgen skal mig og søz nemlig til polterabend. Kære Mie (aka. Moren) skal nemlig giftes d. 14.! Jeg håber det bliver sjovt. Fingers crossed!

After all, we're only human.

1:12 - the piano gives me chills. *sigh*
Jon McLaughlin sure has a talent!
Den her sang giver enormt meget mening for mig, atm.

In lack of a better title.

Jeg burde tage mig sammen til, at lægge et par af de billeder op, jeg efterhånden har fået taget igennem sommeren, men lige nu orker jeg det ikke. Maybe I'll do it soon.

I går var jeg forresten på strøget med Lili, for at raide en masse secondhand butikker omrking Studiestræde, og derefter drikke kaffe og have det sjovt. Der var desværre ikke det helt store, mén! Vi fik købt nogle enormt seje ringe, selve brikken "L" fra et scrabble spil. Cool, right?

Jeg har lige set Sex and Death 101, med bl.a. den geniale Winona Ryder. Jeg ved ikke hvorfor, den film ikke er blevet større, end den gjorde. I hvert fald i Danmark. Den er fantastisk! Jeg elsker stortset alt med Winona Ryder, men hun er ikke en af de største roller, så det må betyde, at filmen rent faktisk også er god. Og hvis folk er til mænd med krøllet smørhår, kan jeg også fortælle, at hovedpersonen er spillet af Simon Baker. Watch it! I dare you.

Ring-tastic!

Jeg har lige købt disse 5 fantastiske ringe, på eBay.
Can't wait to wear 'em. :'D De var billige, og ægte sølv! Win.

Jeg elsker især enhjørninge ringen, helt til højre. Er du misundelig, Trine? (;